Free! Iwatobi Strip Club
by Cutiepoops
Summary: The swim club is having financial troubles, and Gou has an idea of how to solve them.


Free Iwatobi Strip Club

The four Iwatobi Swim Club members were gathered for a special meeting that Gou had arranged. They were all a bit nervous, as she had been in full muscle fangirl mode all day in school. No one was shirtless except for Haru once or twice, so no one had any idea why she could be acting that way. It could only be about whatever devilish plan she had brought gathered them there to discuss. "Where is Gou?" asked Rei. "I have to get home soon to study tips on how to do sit-ups beautifully. Nagisa said I look silly when I do them." Nagisa smiled and stuck his tongue out. Rei glared at him for a moment before caving in to his cuteness and sighing. "Helloooo, Iwatobi Swim Club!" yelled someone. It was Gou. She held some kind of paper in one of her wildly flailing arms. The boys weren't sure why, but that paper made them nervous.

"Gou, stop that flailing," said Rei. "It is not beautiful at all." Gou took a deep breath and calmed herself. She had stopped moving, but she still had that shit-eating grin on her face. "So, I have a plan to get us out of debt," said Gou. Everyone perked up a bit. The school had been threatening to cut funding on the club's pool maintenance and trips lately. Any plan that might save the club was a good plan. "I just got permission from the school for us to do some fundraising. They said we can do whatever we want," said Gou. She smiled a bit wider at those last few words. "Can we do a fish fry?" asked Haru. Gou frowned. "I think Gou already had something in mind, Haru," said Makoto. Gou grinned and patted Makoto on the shoulder. "That's right, I do have something planned," she said. "We're going to start up an Iwatobi Strip Club!"

Everyone looked shocked. "Whaaaat!?" said Nagisa, throwing his arms up in the air dramatically. "This is a joke, right?" said Makoto, trying his best to fake a polite smile. Gou just stared at him with a blank face and shoved the paper at him. "Th-this says Iwatobi Strip Club approved on it. And it's signed by the principal." Rei started making weird noises and fumbling with his glasses. His face was turning bright red. Nagisa clung onto his arm. "It's okay, Rei-chan. Maybe it'll be fun," he said. Rei didn't seem convinced. "Come on, guys, what's the big deal?" said Gou. "You guys are always half naked anyway." "But that's for swimming, not being creeped on by people," said Makoto. Haru was staring at the pool with his pool eyes, seemingly not paying attention. "Look guys," said Gou, getting frustrated with her team, "If you do this, I'll tell you all of my brother's secrets… And I won't tell him yours." No one even bothered to ask how she knew everyone's secrets. It probably had something to do with the binoculars and night vision goggles she had included in the club budget a few weeks back. Haru finally spoke up. "Will there be a pool?" he said. Gou perked up again. "Yes, actually. Coach Sasabe said we could use his pool on the weekends." Haru didn't even hesitate. "We'll do it then," he said. He dove into the pool before the others could beat the shit out of him for agreeing to something like that.

(Author's note: although they are still in high school, I write everyone as being of age.)

It was time for opening night of the strip club. Couch Sasabe had really outdone himself with preparing the pool. Half of the pool was covered with flooring. There was a pole extending from the ceiling to the floor. The main lights were turned off and replaced with string lights, floating lights in the pool, and a spotlight on the pole. There was a bar set up near the stands, which Sasabe was tending. The speakers were playing sexy dubstep. Several people, mostly students from local high schools, were already seated in the stands. Gou was helping to seat people. Four figures stepped out from a side door. The show had begun.

All four swim club members were wearing specially made swim uniforms with holes cut out for the nip nops. They were covered in body glitter. Rei stepped over to the pole. He had insisted on being the one to use it, as he had always found pole dancing to be a beautiful art. Makoto and Nagisa headed over to the crowd. Haru stripped off all of his clothes at once and jumped into the pool. Even after plenty of training from Gou, he still didn't understand that stripping was supposed to be a drawn out process. Rei began to grind on the pole. He twirled around and tossed his legs in the air. He began to carefully strip off layers until he was down to just a small speedo. There was whistling and cries of "Take it off!" from the crowd. Rei pushed up his glasses and did that overdramatic laugh of his. He carefully calculated the way to take the speedo off in the sexiest manner possible. He slowly slipped the edge of the speedo down, then slipped it off of one leg and then the other. His peener was now exposed to the world. It had a little pair of glasses on just like the ones on Rei's face. Rei pushed both pairs of glasses up and ended his routine. Most of the audience had gotten a nose bleed at some point during the performance.

While Rei was pole dancing, Makoto and Nagisa had been giving lap dances to audience members. Makoto had had to escort Gou out of the room, as she had been standing right next to all of the customers during their lap dances and frothing at the mouth. It was starting to creep people out. Makoto was pretty embarrassed about the lap dances, so a lot of girls paid to give him one. This just made him more embarrassed, which made him blush sexily. This attracted even more customers. At one point there was a line going half way around the pool of customers waiting to give Makoto a lap dance.

Nagisa wasn't having as much luck with getting customers. He had stripped down to his tiny speedo and was actively trying to get people interested in him. He would run up to people and do things like pelvic thrust at them or lick his lips at them. Sometimes he would just point to his nip nops or crotch bulge and say "Aaah? Aaah?" Most people looked very uncomfortable around him for some reason, and Nagisa was starting to feel unliked. He even tried licking a man's ear. Coach Sasabe had to explain that he was not one of the customers, and was not interested. When Rei was done stripping, he came over to see how Nagisa was doing. "Are you okay, Nagisa," he asked. "You look upset." Nagisa looked up at him, and Rei noticed that his eyes were starting to water. "No one wants me to give them a lap dance," he said. "People won't even pay me to strip for them." Rei sighed and hugged him. "I'll let you give me a lap dance, Nagisa," he said. Nagisa instantly cheered up and hugged Rei back. "Thank you so much, Rei-chan," he said. One thing led to another, and they ended up leaving early, going back to Rei's house, and doing the do.

Haru was approached by several potential customers, but he didn't end up getting any money from them. He always told them, "I only strip free." This, of course, led to people leaving in confusion. Haru was okay with this, as he was enjoying swimming around in the pool.

At the end of the night, the strip club made a profit of seventy-seven dollars. They would have made more, but Nagisa and Rei had disappeared half-way through the night, Haru had swam instead of doing anything to make money, and all of the materials used to transform the pool into a strip club had cost a lot of money. Still, Gou was confident that they would pull in more money next time. No one noticed the shadowy figure watching from one of the windows. "Looks like we have a new way to compete with the Iwatobi Swim Club," said Rin. "I guess it's time for Samezuka to do some fundraising of our own."


End file.
